The Pink Hat

Well in the chaos that is my life right now, I inadvertently threw into the wash what has been lovingly been referred to as 'the pink hat'.  I got this hat while on a camping trip to Big Sur with a dear friend and it brings up such good memories of freezing at the ocean's edge, campfire mornings, and gazing up at the redwood canopy that was our living room ceiling.  So when I pulled out this memory maker, all warm, perfectly pink, and now ten sizes too small I was not all too pleased.  However, it did get me thinking about all the hats I wear in a given day.  How some fit perfectly, some maybe I wish I didn't have to wear and others that seemed to be just right are now the ones providing endless amounts of worry and stress.

Each morning I wake up I style my hair and on goes my Mom hat.  It's the one with the large brim.  It's sturdy in case I get pulled into the trenches.  There is as much food throwing as there is excuse tossing, so this hat is easy to clean.  Tear, rips, holes are nothing for this hat.  It can handle anything.  Once I received this hat, I put it one with pride and exuberance and there is no way I would let anyone borrow it.

When I turn to the side and you see some frill, that's the wife hat.  Still trying to be cute, but under the frill is some tough canvas.  It's wanting to work, collaborate if you will.  This hat understand if sometimes it slips to the back, but its confident its on and it laughs because it knows that Mom hat wouldn't work so well without it.  

Could there possibly be any more room on this head you ask?  Heck yeah.  The daughter hat sits at the back.  Its a heavy hat, especially when you're an only child.  When no other brother or sister shares your hat and you must carry it yourself, the weight sometimes becomes unfathomable.  But it's a hat you wear every day and you remind yourself how important it is.  You realize that there will be a time that you will get to retire this hat.  That thought makes you wish you could grab strings and tie your daughter hat on just that much tighter.  For though it may feel like the heaviest of hats, when it's not yours to wear anymore the void and emptiness on your head is not easily forgotten.  

The rest of my head is filled with friend hats.  Some are small and some are large. Some take more effort to get on. Some fit perfectly.  You find that those that take little effort are the ones that you reach for first.  The ones requiring hassle and maintenance soon become your occasional hat.  The hat you wear once a year and pull out for a party.  

So as I sized up my mini pink hat and thought about all my life hats, I stopped and realized that although I would like to run from some right now and curl up inside others that's not how it works.  They are all good hats, ones that I love.  Sure some are easier to slip on than others.  Yes I wish they all fit like my wife and mom hats, but some will again and others I will resign myself to putting on the shelf.  These hats make up who I am. They define me.  Whether I cock them to the side and wear them with style, well that's up to me.  And you better believe I'm going to do my best.