Not the Bolger Way

I was recently talking to a friend at work about my Step Mom's recent diagnosis with cancer.  She listened to me ramble on about my concern over wishing they were closer, wishing I could hear what the doctors were actually telling them, wishing I could bring meals over...Basically there's a lot of wishing going on right now.  She looked at me and finally just said, "Here it is.  You can do what you can do, but you have your family to think of as well.  Your Dad picked his life and he will deal with it."  Truthfully the words felt a little like a surprise kick to the stomach.  I know in my heart that's true, but that's just not how I was raised.  Plainly...that's not the Bolger way. 

When I first arrived down in Santa Barbara after my Dad had called me about my Step Mom, I was overwhelmed by all the concerned phone calls coming from his brothers.  The two I talked to directly told me that they were ready to drop everything and come down whenever they were needed.  One even made a point of calling and checking in every day.  Now that to me is family.  That's people that get it.  I made a comment to Rick about how wonderful that felt.  Here we were all feeling like the walls were caving in, but the Bolger Boys were ready to show up with Pa's ole tool box and try to fix them.  


Even thinking about recently when my Grandmother passed away and how quickly everyone was on the phone calling back and forth.  There was no squabbling over finances.  No battling for her last worldly possession.  They all just wanted to mourn. To remember.  Just to be together and be a family.  

My sweet beautiful young cousin got married this last weekend and as I watched this almost two table full of Bolger's I could help but think this is one lucky boy.  Heck he is marrying into one hell of a loving family.  My uncle got up and talked about family and how he was feeling it so strong.  He equated it to a village and how lucky they were to have the support of the village.  The round of applause on that one was deafening.  It was hard not to feel the love in the air from the couple, but from the support in the room.  

It's an interesting thing to be a part of and fascinating to think about.  What makes this family so strong?  They get together and laugh, dance, surf, you name it.  What was the root that made this tree so strong?  I just want to make sure my family is graphed on from that.  I want that same strength. I want to know my girls will have that same pull to gather and spend time together.  I know for sure this summer has been a trying one and my little village has been the only thing holding my crumbly cookie pieces together.  

I hope my girls can remember when they feel like the world is against them and nothing is going right that all they need to do is turn around; the village is behind them.  It may appear small at first glance, but they need only look hard to see that it stretch far.  And look there's one holding a beer and doing a little leap.  


God love this family.