What I don't want to be like

One of the first thing you do when you have kids is come up with a list of all the things you don't want to do as a parent. The "my Dad used to do that" or "God when my Mom used to" comments all come flaring up to the forefront and right then and there you decide you are never going to make those mistakes or act that way. In essence you decide YOU will be the perfect parent. Well as the years go on you discover your parents weren't that bad and some of their traits, rules, etc. weren't really sooo horrible. You say all that because it's really just justification for why YOU have become your parents. And yes, you can fight it, but it's tough when you're going up against your genes, your core being.

I've decided that this whole parenting thing may take me a while to figure out. Let's face it, I've never been a quick study. I thought I might aim a little lower and say that as a Grandmother, I will not be like my parents or like myself as a parent. Now that isn't to say I haven't gotten some really great things from all my folks. And for better or worse, I am who I am because of them. Heck, I am the parent I am because of them. Suffice to say, I'm pleased with some things and could kick the rest. So I figure I will take the next 30 odd years and try to figure this whole parenting thing out and then I will be #1 Grandparent. And yes, I will wear the "I'm the Grandparent That's Cool" t-shirt. I'll be the one you want to visit, the one you want to spend a week at summer with, the one that tolerates you even when you are acting your very worst because I knows you are a little love under that crazy exterior. In essence, I'll be my Mom, as a Grandma.

In my eyes, she was the worlds best Mom. But I can tell you that as a Grandma, she rocks. Sure some days are better than others. Isn't that the case for all super heroes. But, I can tell you that she gets the biggest smiles, the best crayon pictures, and (best/worst of all) she gets the kids in their true form. They are so comfortable with her, they are honest with their feelings. When they get mad, they stomp. When they are fed up, they scream. Ok, that doesn't sound so great. But...it means they are comfortable with her. They love her like a parent. And that is just what I want to be when I'm a Grandma.

But I still have some practice to do.