It's rare that I'm in bed when the kids are still asleep. I'm usually trying to pull it all together by rushing through a shower, making pancakes, and laying out the flat people for my children to jump in. But every once in a while I let myself climb back into bed and cuddle. My cuddle bunny was all too warm and my pillow was beckoning. Well this morning I got a special treat. I was joined by my two oldest loves and then I woke up and got the baby to join us. So here we were on our normally large enough queen bed all warm, cuddly and basically enjoying life. Now, being me, I realized that soon enough I would be breaking up a fight, negotiating with a six year old, and forgetting to pee because I was chasing a rolling baby, but I still savored the moment.
Rick had to go to a funeral today for an alumni that went to our school. She was killed in a tragic accident and had barely even started her exciting life journey. I felt such a heaviness in my heart today. As a parent your kids drive you crazy and make you want to occasional pull your or their hair out. But they are a part of you. I would go as far to say, they are me. They are my happy. My everything. (and yeah I throw my husband in that bin as well)
So while I thought about Rick today at the service I kept remembering the morning bed rumpus. I tried to concentrate on that feeling I had with my whole family safe and around me. That's a feeling I want to lock in the vault and try to draw on when I want to run out on the deck and rock myself silly. Yes they are occasionally infuriating, but I'll take it. Because that's what life with them is going to be like and I wouldn't trade that in for anything.
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