I've been making note of this strange phenomenon for the past year or so, but it took finally sitting down with a good straight shootin friend of mine this week to finally put the words on what is actually going on. Stay home Mom's almost have too much time to think about stuff and therefore can't make a decision to save their lives. Wow I know that's a harsh statement. I feel like I can say that though because I also stay home. I feel like my decision making skills have definitely fallen to the wayside. Now ask me if I think buying two boxes of cereal for the price of one is a good decision and I will jump all over that answer. But ask me something that requires some thought and actual problem solving and whoa nelly you can almost hear those rusty wheels a cranking.
I have had a lot of fun working on different committees and groups at school this year, but almost everything that I have delegated out I have received a call about. "Can we talk about this, so I can get more information?" "Could you explain more what you are looking for?" What I really want to tell these gals is that I'm looking for is someone just to do what I asked and not want to talk about it. Make a decision. Put down your latte and remember what it was like before the little people were calling all the shots. I too feel like I get bossed around half the day. Heck we have jokingly started calling the littlest one "The Boss". And I say jokingly with a grimace. We are running around picking up this, volunteering here, fluttering there and we have forgotten what it is like to just take care of business.
I look at one of my best friends who is a full (to the fullest) time worker, Mom of two, Girl Scout leader, etc,etc. You are getting an idea of her awesomeness. You ask her about something and she just takes care of it. She
doesn't need a lot of clarification or hand holding. She is business. I love that.
So does this affect all Mommy's that stay home? If you stay home part of the time are you only partially rendered inept at quick thinking? I don't know maybe if I worked full time I could answer these questions. Hee hee. Oh well I guess when you get down to it Mom's are usually quick at making decision when their kids are involved. Truthfully that's the most important thing anyway, I guess I can cut them a little slack on the other stuff.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Hearts of Gold
I leaned down to pick up the 100th piece of paper off the ground in one of my kids rooms, grumbling all the while, and it was in my hands to crumble up when I turned it over and realized it was a picture of a big heart and it had my name on it. Then I walked out in the hall and I looked at our bedroom door and I saw a sign that Gabby had made that was a beautiful flower with two sides that I could turn one way to let people know I was sleeping and the other way when I woke up. As I walked down the hall to the kitchen passing all these little pieces of paper I noticed my grumbling voice started to subside just a little and a small smile started to take form. Sure we kill half a rainforest a day, but my kids are spreading the love. The first thing they think about doing for someone is drawing a picture or giving them a note. Is that really so bad?
With the first child I kept every single scrap of anything she laid a crayon on. I believed everything to be a work of art. A true van Gogh. Well, ok, that last part hasn't changed. But throw in a few more kids and I have just had to be more select. It's tough though. You have all the pictures they draw where there is their rendition of the entire family. Or the picture of the heart and your name is in center. Come on now. What are you heartless? How do you take that one to the recycle bin? When they are driving you crazy, sometimes it's the simple glance to the magnetic board seeing that picture they poured their heart into with a smiley at the bottom, that pulls you from the edge.
Last night we were having a long evening. Blame it on spring, first week back from spring break, who knows. The two oldest were not being nice to the baby, the oldest one lied to her Dad, etc, etc. Needless to say, I was happy when I heard snores coming from all rooms. A new day came and in amongst the hustle and bustle of the morning I saw a white heart taped to our glass doors in our room that simply said, "sorry Dad." Gabby had either gotten up sometime in the night or early in the morning and tip toed in to place it so Rick would see it. Yes, the lying is horrible but the core of that kid is pure gold.
I guess all these little pieces of paper help remind me that even when they are acting up or not being nice to each other, these are three of the most loving kids I have run across. So when I find these pieces of paper, sure I throw away some. I have to, my house is only so big. But I have to really stop and think about it because I know a little piece of them went into that creation. A little piece of their heart. Something I am so grateful for.
With the first child I kept every single scrap of anything she laid a crayon on. I believed everything to be a work of art. A true van Gogh. Well, ok, that last part hasn't changed. But throw in a few more kids and I have just had to be more select. It's tough though. You have all the pictures they draw where there is their rendition of the entire family. Or the picture of the heart and your name is in center. Come on now. What are you heartless? How do you take that one to the recycle bin? When they are driving you crazy, sometimes it's the simple glance to the magnetic board seeing that picture they poured their heart into with a smiley at the bottom, that pulls you from the edge.
Last night we were having a long evening. Blame it on spring, first week back from spring break, who knows. The two oldest were not being nice to the baby, the oldest one lied to her Dad, etc, etc. Needless to say, I was happy when I heard snores coming from all rooms. A new day came and in amongst the hustle and bustle of the morning I saw a white heart taped to our glass doors in our room that simply said, "sorry Dad." Gabby had either gotten up sometime in the night or early in the morning and tip toed in to place it so Rick would see it. Yes, the lying is horrible but the core of that kid is pure gold.
I guess all these little pieces of paper help remind me that even when they are acting up or not being nice to each other, these are three of the most loving kids I have run across. So when I find these pieces of paper, sure I throw away some. I have to, my house is only so big. But I have to really stop and think about it because I know a little piece of them went into that creation. A little piece of their heart. Something I am so grateful for.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
One Like Daddy
My girls are just now getting to the age where there is lots of emphasis on who they like and who they will marry, etc. Trust me I am quick to chime in that college graduation, getting a nice job, then getting married would be my preferred order of events. But it's actually pretty cute to listen to them talk about boys. Their criteria for if they like a boy is still based on whether they are funny or goofy. However, if you think about it isn't that the way it should always be. I keep telling the girls they really should be just looking for someone like their Dad. But am I just setting them up to spend their adult life looking for the unattainable.
The big girls and I were sitting waiting for their swim lessons to start the other day and for some reason Gabby wanted to make a list of all the things her Dad and I do. I told her I needed a half sheet, but that she probably didn't have enough paper to cover her Dad's accomplishments and hobbies. I mean fine, he's won teacher of the year twice and is a rock star coach, but that barely starts to peel away the onion if you will. Brewer, photographer, surfer, surf board builder, woodworker, home builder, green gardener, graduate student, perpetual learner...Uh I've gotta stop and take a rest. See what I mean? We are talking about an interesting creature here. This is not your average come home from work, sit on the sofa, drink a beer and grunt at the kids kind of Dad. You ask him a question and he helps you research it (but he's so darn smart, he probably already knows the answer). You have an idea for something you want to make, he grabs his tools. He's action Dad.
I can almost hear my poor girls now, "I really think this guys is cute but...". I know I couldn't have married someone that does nothing but sit around. My Dad is a builder, a reader, surfer...hummm I'm seeing a pattern. I guess I did look for a lot of the same traits. My only concern is my girls trying to find someone with all the traits or skills their Dad has. He just has so many. When I stop to think about him I truly become in ah of him. Someone at work called him a modern day savant and jokingly asked me if I ever feel like Jan Brady. If I didn't love him so much I would be screaming "Marsha Marsha Marsha!".
So what advice will I give my poor girls when they get older? Your Dad is an original? They aren't all like him? Or should I encourage them to search for someone just as interesting as him? I guess some combination of the above. I would like to believe that his being with me and my family has helped expose him to some of the things he is interested in today. Who knows if that's true. I just know my girls have a great role model. And I pity the poor fella who comes home to dinner and gets asked the dreaded, "so tell me about yourself" by ole RR.
The big girls and I were sitting waiting for their swim lessons to start the other day and for some reason Gabby wanted to make a list of all the things her Dad and I do. I told her I needed a half sheet, but that she probably didn't have enough paper to cover her Dad's accomplishments and hobbies. I mean fine, he's won teacher of the year twice and is a rock star coach, but that barely starts to peel away the onion if you will. Brewer, photographer, surfer, surf board builder, woodworker, home builder, green gardener, graduate student, perpetual learner...Uh I've gotta stop and take a rest. See what I mean? We are talking about an interesting creature here. This is not your average come home from work, sit on the sofa, drink a beer and grunt at the kids kind of Dad. You ask him a question and he helps you research it (but he's so darn smart, he probably already knows the answer). You have an idea for something you want to make, he grabs his tools. He's action Dad.
I can almost hear my poor girls now, "I really think this guys is cute but...". I know I couldn't have married someone that does nothing but sit around. My Dad is a builder, a reader, surfer...hummm I'm seeing a pattern. I guess I did look for a lot of the same traits. My only concern is my girls trying to find someone with all the traits or skills their Dad has. He just has so many. When I stop to think about him I truly become in ah of him. Someone at work called him a modern day savant and jokingly asked me if I ever feel like Jan Brady. If I didn't love him so much I would be screaming "Marsha Marsha Marsha!".
So what advice will I give my poor girls when they get older? Your Dad is an original? They aren't all like him? Or should I encourage them to search for someone just as interesting as him? I guess some combination of the above. I would like to believe that his being with me and my family has helped expose him to some of the things he is interested in today. Who knows if that's true. I just know my girls have a great role model. And I pity the poor fella who comes home to dinner and gets asked the dreaded, "so tell me about yourself" by ole RR.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Not cut from the same cloth
So in amongst all the celebrating of my middlest angel I couldn't help but stop and think about how truly different all three of my girls really are. I mean you raise them the same. Read them the same books. Teach them from your same novel of parenting. But darn if those little buggers aren't so darn different and special.
Case in point...I couldn't help but think about one of my favorite Alex stories the other day. Alex had to be 5 and Gabby 6. We had come home only to find that one of their fish had departed to the big fish bowl in the sky. Rick wasn't home, so I gathered my thoughts and decided I would go with the shortened circle of life story. I pulled them both up onto Gabby's bed close to me, told them about how this sort of think happened, the fish had a nice life with us, etc. Heck I was crying myself. I look out at the audience and we have Gabby, eyes full of tears and sorrow. Her face is expressing true mourning for the fish. I half expected her to break into one of her spontaneously written songs, with musical accompaniment of course. Then I look over at Alex. Or should I say Dr. Alex. Her eyes are dry. At least she isn't smiling and she does let me finish before asking the only question that was on her mind, "when can we flush the other fish?". Uh...yep mourning time over.
And then we have the more recent story of me getting breakfast ready and telling Rick about some new songs we had downloaded, but how first I wanted to share a video I had seen at the gym about quadriplegic soccer players. So I'm telling all about this story that I found so interesting and inspiring and everyone is nodding and seems interested. I'm almost done and then my little sweet Alex looks at me and says, "But what about Usher?". She was referring to wanting to hear the new Usher song we had downloaded the night before that I had mentioned playing. God love my sweetheart, she definitely knows how to stop a conversation. Luckily she also has a great sense of humor since 'what about Usher' has become our new favorite joke when someone abruptly ends a conversation or just says something weird.
Now so we don't think she has some sort of aspergers or social disorder, there are a million other examples I could think of when she has let that big heart of hers shine. But even as an infant she has definitely made you earn that heart. She isn't like Gabby or even Jess for that matter. Her first inclination is not to run up and give you a hug, but I can tell you that over the years I think we have broken her down. She is always the first one to give me a big hug in the morning now.
So I keep on reading from my same books and giving my same speeches on rights and wrongs, but when I do my tuck ins at night I'm still kissing my dramatic nature lover, my overly intelligent sensitive soul, and my energetic stubborn wild child. But that's what makes this ride so fun. They get along, but are oh so different. Definitely never boring.
Case in point...I couldn't help but think about one of my favorite Alex stories the other day. Alex had to be 5 and Gabby 6. We had come home only to find that one of their fish had departed to the big fish bowl in the sky. Rick wasn't home, so I gathered my thoughts and decided I would go with the shortened circle of life story. I pulled them both up onto Gabby's bed close to me, told them about how this sort of think happened, the fish had a nice life with us, etc. Heck I was crying myself. I look out at the audience and we have Gabby, eyes full of tears and sorrow. Her face is expressing true mourning for the fish. I half expected her to break into one of her spontaneously written songs, with musical accompaniment of course. Then I look over at Alex. Or should I say Dr. Alex. Her eyes are dry. At least she isn't smiling and she does let me finish before asking the only question that was on her mind, "when can we flush the other fish?". Uh...yep mourning time over.
And then we have the more recent story of me getting breakfast ready and telling Rick about some new songs we had downloaded, but how first I wanted to share a video I had seen at the gym about quadriplegic soccer players. So I'm telling all about this story that I found so interesting and inspiring and everyone is nodding and seems interested. I'm almost done and then my little sweet Alex looks at me and says, "But what about Usher?". She was referring to wanting to hear the new Usher song we had downloaded the night before that I had mentioned playing. God love my sweetheart, she definitely knows how to stop a conversation. Luckily she also has a great sense of humor since 'what about Usher' has become our new favorite joke when someone abruptly ends a conversation or just says something weird.
Now so we don't think she has some sort of aspergers or social disorder, there are a million other examples I could think of when she has let that big heart of hers shine. But even as an infant she has definitely made you earn that heart. She isn't like Gabby or even Jess for that matter. Her first inclination is not to run up and give you a hug, but I can tell you that over the years I think we have broken her down. She is always the first one to give me a big hug in the morning now.
So I keep on reading from my same books and giving my same speeches on rights and wrongs, but when I do my tuck ins at night I'm still kissing my dramatic nature lover, my overly intelligent sensitive soul, and my energetic stubborn wild child. But that's what makes this ride so fun. They get along, but are oh so different. Definitely never boring.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Mini Me Hits 7!
This week it's a fun one to write. My middle baby is getting ready to turn seven on Sunday. I can hardly believe seven years have passed. This has truly been a fun year for her and as a Mom, a fun one to watch. My parents and I both have made the comment, "boy this is Alex's year." That truly does sum it up. Let me see if I can describe it adequately.
She started the school year as a first grader. So we were no longer the new kid on the block which automatically increased her confidence level. Our school, in my mind, does it right. They combine the K/1 and 2/3 grades so the 1st and 3rd graders really get a chance to know their teachers and stand out as leaders in class. Well that is exactly what Alex has done this year. She is no longer waiting to be called on, she is asking questions, helping out without being asked, being a leader, a great friend, you name it. And that's just what her teachers are saying. I won't even go into how great she is going reading wise and just generally in school. I mean anyone that can pick up one of Rick's dry economics books and read a few chapters impresses the socks off of me. Truly what she can read and retain is amazing for her age. I would like to say it's all the time I spent working with her. But I just think it's that big ole brain doing it's work. Thank goodness she took after Rick, also an early reader and general brainiac.
My girl also kicked off the year by loosing a bunch of teeth. For little kids, this is one of the biggest thrills in life. They are just dying to get their name on the tooth chart at school and to have that tooth fairy pay a visit. Heck Alex kept a tooth dangling by a string until she got to school. Her teacher told me that Alex's hand popped up at almost exactly 8:10 one morning to announce her tooth was out. She was saving that one. So for most of the beginning of the year she has looked like our personal jack-o-lattern. Too darn cute. She has loved that.
Anyone remember my shy little Alex? I barely do. She has definitely come out of that shell and stomped on the pieces. I can still remember my Dad's concern over how shy she was. Or when I would take her out in the stroller only to have her scream every time someone would dare smile at her because she was so darn cute. Now she is outgoing, charming, LOUD, and just generally a great person to be around. Can you tell I'm crazy about this kid.
So I've told you about the wonderful things you see on a daily basis but what I hold true to my heart is what not everyone gets to see...like when she gets up really early in the morning before everyone else and comes to sit up on the counter to tell me a story about the day she forgot about. Or when she can tell that I have had enough and she will clean up Jess' room better than I would myself just to put a smile on my face. How about Gabby's first year in kinder which was absolutely nightmarishly crazy and Alex would run into the girls bathroom to grab me some toilet paper to wipes my eyes and then look up at me with those great big blues and say, "Mom you look like you could use a mocha from the favorite coffee shop."
I'm extra sensitive with my little Alex. She is the dreaded middle child, the one that gets forgotten. Well, not on my watch. She is my little blue eyed sunshine. I get such a smile on my face when I hear those little footsteps coming down the hall in the morning. So for my angel I wish that this year be the beginning of how all her years will go. I hope she will continue to blossom and find her voice. To know how crazy proud we are of her and how much we love her.
Happy birthday my sweet Alexandra Rose.
She started the school year as a first grader. So we were no longer the new kid on the block which automatically increased her confidence level. Our school, in my mind, does it right. They combine the K/1 and 2/3 grades so the 1st and 3rd graders really get a chance to know their teachers and stand out as leaders in class. Well that is exactly what Alex has done this year. She is no longer waiting to be called on, she is asking questions, helping out without being asked, being a leader, a great friend, you name it. And that's just what her teachers are saying. I won't even go into how great she is going reading wise and just generally in school. I mean anyone that can pick up one of Rick's dry economics books and read a few chapters impresses the socks off of me. Truly what she can read and retain is amazing for her age. I would like to say it's all the time I spent working with her. But I just think it's that big ole brain doing it's work. Thank goodness she took after Rick, also an early reader and general brainiac.
My girl also kicked off the year by loosing a bunch of teeth. For little kids, this is one of the biggest thrills in life. They are just dying to get their name on the tooth chart at school and to have that tooth fairy pay a visit. Heck Alex kept a tooth dangling by a string until she got to school. Her teacher told me that Alex's hand popped up at almost exactly 8:10 one morning to announce her tooth was out. She was saving that one. So for most of the beginning of the year she has looked like our personal jack-o-lattern. Too darn cute. She has loved that.
Anyone remember my shy little Alex? I barely do. She has definitely come out of that shell and stomped on the pieces. I can still remember my Dad's concern over how shy she was. Or when I would take her out in the stroller only to have her scream every time someone would dare smile at her because she was so darn cute. Now she is outgoing, charming, LOUD, and just generally a great person to be around. Can you tell I'm crazy about this kid.
So I've told you about the wonderful things you see on a daily basis but what I hold true to my heart is what not everyone gets to see...like when she gets up really early in the morning before everyone else and comes to sit up on the counter to tell me a story about the day she forgot about. Or when she can tell that I have had enough and she will clean up Jess' room better than I would myself just to put a smile on my face. How about Gabby's first year in kinder which was absolutely nightmarishly crazy and Alex would run into the girls bathroom to grab me some toilet paper to wipes my eyes and then look up at me with those great big blues and say, "Mom you look like you could use a mocha from the favorite coffee shop."
I'm extra sensitive with my little Alex. She is the dreaded middle child, the one that gets forgotten. Well, not on my watch. She is my little blue eyed sunshine. I get such a smile on my face when I hear those little footsteps coming down the hall in the morning. So for my angel I wish that this year be the beginning of how all her years will go. I hope she will continue to blossom and find her voice. To know how crazy proud we are of her and how much we love her.
Happy birthday my sweet Alexandra Rose.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The Hand Off
As I spend more time hanging around Mom's, kids and the like, I have come to notice that parents love to give you their kids. The days I am home I seriously spend more time responding to requests for play dates, weekend gatherings, and the like. Moms are more than happy if you want to take their kids for 2-4 hours, heck keep them overnight and you have a friend for life. Then I also have friends that take trips sans the kids, at least a few times a year. A trip without the kids makes me feel, the entire time, like I've walked out of the house without my pants on. Rick and I always have fun, but the missing is definitely strong. I was trying to explain all this to my kids today as they wondered why they couldn't go on the hundredth play date they had been invited on. Part of me just wanted to say 'heck kids I just really like you guys, I don't know what's wrong with those other parents'. But yes, I refrained.
Yesterday my girls had their friends, who happen to be sisters, over for a playdate. I couldn't help but smile just listening to the conversation, the laughing, just the sound of girls being girls. I have always wanted my house to be the one that the kids go to after school. The hang out spot. Part of me feels that if I can create that environment now it will carry through to when they are older and when I'll want to feel even a little bit connected to whats going on in their lives. It's funny sometimes how I'll ask the girls about their days and how I hear nothing of importance. But, when I'm in the kitchen baking cookies and they think I'm not listening I hear all about the ins and outs of the day. Sometimes just the act of us working on those cookies together, helps to drop the guard down and out comes the sharing. I love that. So selfishly I'm not always looking to ship my kids off because I feel like I'm missing out on all that goodness.
I was talking with another Mom at Jess' gym class today and she was talking about her two kids and how exhausted she was and how she looked forward to when her little one got into school. I laughed a little because I thought I guess I should feel that way, but I feel exactly the opposite. I love when they come home from school. I am dreading having Jess start preschool. I will count down the hours until I can come pick her up. Then the two of us will count down until we can pick up her sisters. The walls of this house are meant to be filled with happy little voices.
So do I lock my princesses up in my tower and keep all their joy just to myself? No, of course not. Part of growing up is going to peoples house, doing play dates, and spending time away from the watchful eye of Mom and Dad. But will I go out of my way to find places to ship them off to? No way. Will I hope they choose our house as the place to hang out? You bet. Because a house without that sweet laughter is really just a house.
Yesterday my girls had their friends, who happen to be sisters, over for a playdate. I couldn't help but smile just listening to the conversation, the laughing, just the sound of girls being girls. I have always wanted my house to be the one that the kids go to after school. The hang out spot. Part of me feels that if I can create that environment now it will carry through to when they are older and when I'll want to feel even a little bit connected to whats going on in their lives. It's funny sometimes how I'll ask the girls about their days and how I hear nothing of importance. But, when I'm in the kitchen baking cookies and they think I'm not listening I hear all about the ins and outs of the day. Sometimes just the act of us working on those cookies together, helps to drop the guard down and out comes the sharing. I love that. So selfishly I'm not always looking to ship my kids off because I feel like I'm missing out on all that goodness.
I was talking with another Mom at Jess' gym class today and she was talking about her two kids and how exhausted she was and how she looked forward to when her little one got into school. I laughed a little because I thought I guess I should feel that way, but I feel exactly the opposite. I love when they come home from school. I am dreading having Jess start preschool. I will count down the hours until I can come pick her up. Then the two of us will count down until we can pick up her sisters. The walls of this house are meant to be filled with happy little voices.
So do I lock my princesses up in my tower and keep all their joy just to myself? No, of course not. Part of growing up is going to peoples house, doing play dates, and spending time away from the watchful eye of Mom and Dad. But will I go out of my way to find places to ship them off to? No way. Will I hope they choose our house as the place to hang out? You bet. Because a house without that sweet laughter is really just a house.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Questioning the Role Model
I mentioned last week how great it was to work at a school since there are teachers and counselors always on the look out to offer up guidance. Well that can sometimes play against you as well. A little background...this summer when Jess turned two I decided that I needed to get a new best friend and lose my old best friend "the muffin top." I ran, took exercises classes, watched what I ate and low and behold it came off. I am basically the weight I was prior to having kids. My fighting weight if you will. Well...since many folks at work have only either known me pregnant or in various stages of fighting to lose my muffin top, this came as a shock when I returned back over summer. The rumors started to fly about me being ill, suffering from a eating disorder, etc, etc. Now I know the people here love me so I have taken such comments as loving comments.
Last week though...I was cornered (easy to do in my little office) by a co-worker also expressing concern and she brought up something that has been weighing on my mind. She mentioned that me being so small is really not setting a good example for my girls. That they are looking for me to set the body image norm and by being thin I am basically giving them the message that this is the size they should be. Now it's one thing to have concern for me. Again, I can appreciate that. But as soon as you start throwing around my parent and putting that into question, that becomes an area I'm fairly sensitive about. I pride myself about going out of my way to tell my girls how important it is to love themselves and to not be obsessed with external beauty. We talk about how beautiful differences are. How people of all shapes and sizes, colors and races are all wonderful. So when this woman said this to me, I really got bothered and obviously a week later I'm still bothered.
I can still remember as a kid my Dad pointing out that I was getting a chest. And my family was always the first to point out a hair style they didn't care for or if I could stand to lose a few. I can still remember how sad I felt to have those things brought to my attention. I remember those feelings and I would never want my girls to feel like that. I think because of that I have tried to make sure they feel great. I support the style they want, the hair they want, and have always reminded them how important it is to shine on the inside. Plus couldn't I argue that by exercising and eating right I am actually setting a good example for them. Well at least better than the Mom cramming a Big Whopper in her mouth calling that a delicious dinner.
So... did I say anything to this concerned colleague? Did I look her in the face and tell her that I think I am going an OK job, thank you very much. Did I stand up with my hands on my hips and say that despite my personal faults, I go out of my way to be the best darn parent I can and to make those girls feel that they are loved and fabulously wonderful little people? Nope. I listened to her express her concern. I told her there was no issue and thanked her for her concern and thought to myself, 'you don't know me, but thank you for my next weeks blog topic'.
Last week though...I was cornered (easy to do in my little office) by a co-worker also expressing concern and she brought up something that has been weighing on my mind. She mentioned that me being so small is really not setting a good example for my girls. That they are looking for me to set the body image norm and by being thin I am basically giving them the message that this is the size they should be. Now it's one thing to have concern for me. Again, I can appreciate that. But as soon as you start throwing around my parent and putting that into question, that becomes an area I'm fairly sensitive about. I pride myself about going out of my way to tell my girls how important it is to love themselves and to not be obsessed with external beauty. We talk about how beautiful differences are. How people of all shapes and sizes, colors and races are all wonderful. So when this woman said this to me, I really got bothered and obviously a week later I'm still bothered.
I can still remember as a kid my Dad pointing out that I was getting a chest. And my family was always the first to point out a hair style they didn't care for or if I could stand to lose a few. I can still remember how sad I felt to have those things brought to my attention. I remember those feelings and I would never want my girls to feel like that. I think because of that I have tried to make sure they feel great. I support the style they want, the hair they want, and have always reminded them how important it is to shine on the inside. Plus couldn't I argue that by exercising and eating right I am actually setting a good example for them. Well at least better than the Mom cramming a Big Whopper in her mouth calling that a delicious dinner.
So... did I say anything to this concerned colleague? Did I look her in the face and tell her that I think I am going an OK job, thank you very much. Did I stand up with my hands on my hips and say that despite my personal faults, I go out of my way to be the best darn parent I can and to make those girls feel that they are loved and fabulously wonderful little people? Nope. I listened to her express her concern. I told her there was no issue and thanked her for her concern and thought to myself, 'you don't know me, but thank you for my next weeks blog topic'.
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