Thanks Goodness I Was the Only

My Mom graciously volunteered a few weeks ago to attend a memorial service with me for a dear friends Mom. I started to think about how truly lucky I am to have a Mom so willing to drop everything and move her plans to come here and there for me.  She babysits, attends kids concerts, is my memorial service date, and that's just to name a few things.  I started to wonder how I would ever be able to manage the same level of Motherly aid with three.  I'm only one and I'm sure I keep my poor Mom busy enough. But I can only imagine when my girls are grown trying to juggle all they will want me to be a part of (well hopefully).

Just the other day the girls and I were driving in the car and each one was spilling the contents of their day through stories and songs and even that I was having a hard time giving my full attention to.  I remember one time my Mom talking about her best friend who was the Mom of five children.  She basically just said that she couldn't do everything for everyone.  I mean I get that.  There is only so much time in the day. And people do need to have their own lives.  However, my Moms (heck my parents in general) involvement in my life has been enriching for not only me but my kids.  I hate the idea of not being able to be as actively involved.  I hate thinking a little thing like time will get in my way.  And God forbid if I'm working that will really cramp my style.  I think Rick and I both hope that someday we will be those Grandparents that take their grand-kids to the park and pick them up from school.   

We've also been fortunate enough to always live in the same state.  Will the adventure bug get a hold of any of my girls?  I can't imagine they will all end up being home bodies like Rick and I were.  We all love California, but there is a big world to see and they know it.  That definitely throws in a whole level of complexity.  I can still remember calling my Mom from San Jose State to come pick me up when I had the "flu" (yep we've all had that kind of flu before).  She just had to drive up the street and then I was home in my nice bed getting the TLC only Mom can give.  With three they are dependent on me but definitely not the same way an only child is.  They need me, but they are already more independent than I ever was even in college.  I love that about them. 


Maybe what I'll discover through raising these wonderfully independent strong women is that they won't need us quite as much.  They will want us to come visit but a phone call every couple weeks instead of every day will suffice.  Their wings are small, but already strong.  Sadly, I've raised them to be this way.  I'll probably wish to be more involved than they will ever want me to be.  Sure I will most likely have one that needs more attention than the rest.  Or they will take turns at different times in their lives needing the comfort of ole Mom and Dad.  However, the juggling that I am thinking I might have to do might not ever happen.  Part of me will be sad. The other part will take joy knowing we raised some tough cookies.

What is family?

I talk a lot about Family, but what is family really?  

Truthfully they are the people you seek out in a crowd.  The ones that put a smile on your face and moments later bring you to tears because it's so good to see them.  They single handily energize and drain you of your last ounce of juice.  Are you born from these people or did you carry them for nine months?  Not necessarily.  

Through life's journeys we are somewhat like a big rolling rock that picks up innocent pebbles along the way.  Some stick with us and others fall off.  Those that stick, we keep them close and adopt them.  We throw them into that ever growing somewhat vague bucket we call 'Family'.  Sometimes those new adopters become closer than our family members and they feel like they were just there all along.  Some distant relative we are just now getting acquainted with.  

Are we always wonderful to our family?  No.  But they love us despite of ourselves.  They choose to remember us as we once were, as we could be again.  Family is the first in line to tell you how you are screwing up and how you could fix it.  If you feel someones hand on your shoulder giving you a shake. Don't worry...it's someone that loves you.  

With all that love comes the feeling that with these people you can just be yourself.  Stop for a minute and think about what that means. For some it may mean singing a song with all the wrong words at the top of you lungs.  For others sitting around sans makeup which may mean all those "beauty marks" are out on display.  Who knows what is mean.  But whatever it is, what is so great is that you are trusting in the fact that the people that you have classified as family, whom you have deemed worthy enough to drop your guard down with, will love you whether you know the words to the song.  They will love you with make up or without.  They just love you. 

I have thought a lot about family this week.  Tomorrow my Grandmother and my dear friends Mother will both have memorial services in their honor.  They both so strongly believed in Family and the meaning of it.  So for both wonderful ladies I dedicate this weeks blog writing to them.  May they rest in peace.

The Wild One Turns 3!

This week, it's a no brainer...the wild one is turning 3!!  I truly cannot imagine where the time has gone.  Rick said today that felt like Jess was already three because it's felt like she has always been with us.  I agree with that statement, but I definitely feel as though she has completed us.  We were, what I thought to be, a pretty darn good little family.  However, this miracle dawning a tutu, a sassy attitude, and the cutest darn smile you ever saw came on the scene and totally changed my mind.  Jessamine Mae Riebhoff is exactly what this family needed.

It's funny to glance around at pre-J pictures still hanging in the house. They look so empty to me.  For such a tiny little thing she has filled up a big space.  I used to always say about Gabby that she could run into a room and suck all the air out of it.  In a good way.  Well Jess does the same.  She is a strong little presence.  Maybe it's her sisters support and love.  Maybe it's the fact that as the third she has been taken everyone, thrown into every situation, and just been told to go with the flow.  This child is flexible, confident, and dare I say, independent.  I know that sounds a little crazy saying that about a three year old.  I'm just callin it like I see it.  


We went to an art showcase at the school the other night and Jess ran after her sisters, walked around the camps like she owned the joint.  She wasn't looking around for me.  In fact, she didn't even want to hold my hand.  A month earlier we had been at a birthday party and she asked if she could go inside and play dolls.  No other kids were inside and she didn't ask me to go with her.  She just knew what she wanted to do and went for it.  


Ok, so she's confident and cute as all get out but probably what is most special about her is how she makes everyone feel.  Just to watch my Mom's face light up when she gets one of Jess' hugs or to see her sister put down her book when she peeks over the top of it to say 'I love you sissy'.  I won't even bring up how crazy my Dad is about this kid.  She just warms your heart.  This child is pure love.  God knows we have smothered her with it, but she just has a good core.


People always want to know who she looks like and who she most acts like.  On the outside she is my sweet husband all the way.  She has his twinkly blue eyes that get excited when she tells stories or sees something she likes, just like him.  It's fun to see the two of them together.  Peel apart the onion though and you have a mish mash of goodness from all of us.  Jess has the best part of both of my oldest girls.  Even some of the stuff she does that gets her in trouble I still consider to be the best stuff since it will help her in life.  No one ever said strong-willed children were easy to raise. 


So tomorrow I will go in as always to look in and see my beautiful baby girl.  She will have one bebe in her mouth and a slew of others thrown around.  I will pick up that big 3 year old and thank my lucky stars that someone liked me enough to bless me with someone so wonderful.  I will hope that she will continue to keep her spirit, maintain that confidence, know the love of her family is there with her, and enjoy the next year as much as she has this one.  Happy Birthday my wonderful wild child.