Sister Love

One of my co-workers is getting ready to say happy graduation to her oldest daughter on Saturday.  She has two girls, with very similar personalities to my two oldest. We often swap stories and it's fun to hear about them growing up and what I have to look forward to. And yes, I'm cringing a little bit. She came in this morning to show me a picture of the two of them all dressed up hugging each other. Her comment was, "look how much they love each other."  I couldn't help but think about how many pictures, memories I have of my girls together laughing and loving one another.  I was quick to point out that it's easy to take for granted how truly lucky we really are.  I've seen quite a few examples of siblings that are quite an amorous.  So call it good parenting, luck, whatever.  It's a gift and one to treasure.  

I'm reminded as I grow older how my parents opted to just have one of me.  I am fairly high maintenance I guess they figured one was enough to keep them busy.  I don't recall a lot of my childhood and I partly attribute that to my lack of a sibling. I think having sisters and brothers help keep you connected. Whether you like it or not, you are tied to the past, to your family.  I always remind my girls how important it is to take care of your sisters.  I get a slight tinge of jealousy sometimes thinking about the bond they are developing, something I didn't have growing up.  


I can still remember a few years ago when my girls were playing with some friends and Alex and the other girl were not being nice to Gabby.  I might add, the other girl was instigated it, of course.  Gabby stood there with her hands on her hips and screamed at Alex,  " you need to stop it, you are my sister, you're supposed to stand up for me!".  I was so proud of her.  That night I sat on the side of Alex's bed and I told her that Gabby was entirely right in what she said and that I hoped she remembered how much passion her sister had behind those words.  The same passion that she had towards taking care of her.  Gabby has always been a great big sister.  In turn, Alex has turned into a pretty darn good big sister with her baby sister.  I was watching her last night hold hands with her little sister tagging along at a school event. I know she really just wanted to run along and play with her friends, but she was careful to keep a close eye on her little tag along.  


Today, unfortunately, I got a firm slap in the face on how important those familial bonds can be.  My parents came up for the weekend and my poor Dad hadn't been here more than an hour before he got a call that his Mother passed away.  He is lucky to have three brothers and a sister and all of them were on the phone sending love and talking about what to do.  What a relief to have that support.  I got a call from my cousin, the closest I have to a sister, and we laughed and cried together.   A great reminder of the strong bond of family.  I am go grateful my girls will have that and I hope they will remember to draw on it and gain strength from it. 

I know my girls lives will push and pull them in different directions.  I can only hope they will glance back through the pictures, the home movies, recall the memories and smile. I hope that like my co-worker daughters, every picture tells a tale of siblings who love each other.  And, like today, when their world falls out from under their feet, I hope they reach for their sisters hand and find it right there waiting for them. 

Be Your Own Robot

My sweet Lulu came home from school yesterday with a book that she had worked on in school about a robot.  Basically the kids used black squares and rectangles on various pages to tell the story of how this little robot transforms himself into others things.  Like on Monday he transforms into a dog, Tuesday a rocket, etc.  You get the idea.  So I'm listening to Gab do her nightly reading and I see Alex going through her robot book and finally get up and leave to head to the kitchen.  When it's her turn to read I finally have to call her in because she is obviously working on something.  She reads through the robot book of course which is cute, but it's the addendum page that she has been working on that catches my interest and puts a huge smile on my face.  

On the back cover of this little blue paper book is a new ending.  One where the robot actually turns back into himself because he likes himself the most.  She even adds that he never will change his shape again.  Then goes on to include, "The moral of the story is never try to be something you are not."  Ok I guess I'll pack up my Mom bag and head out, my work here is done.  Hardly...but when your kid takes it upon themselves to tell a story, realize there could be another ending with a positive message, rework it and then add a "moral", that's just good stuff.

I recently read a friends post on Facebook where she had referenced an article that talked about all the things the author wanted for her child.  It was actually a great article and one that I could totally agree with.  Since the author had a son she didn't really reference image and being proud/loving who you are.  I bring up the fact that she had a son and not a daughter more out of reasoning for why she did feel being true to oneself important enough to make her list. I can image that for most that issue is a female one.  I'm sure males suffer with image and trying to find their way, but females from day one are thrown into those pink tutus and sent down that pink path.

I noticed an interesting change in my oldest daughter around the middle of first grade.  She no longer wanted any dresses, any pink clothing, no frills.  I am a true believer in the individual.  I struggled myself with trying to figure out who I was and what my style was, my vibe, so to speak.  So I am all in support of expressing yourself, as long as we are not wanting to die our hair purple.  Trust me I'm sure that day will come. I'm just not ready for it quite yet.  Well anyways...I went along and swapped the pink for black, removed all traces of cuteness for edgy and followed along on her creative journey to express herself through clothing.  Interestingly enough now in 2nd grade, we are back to wearing dresses, we enjoy pink, and have even been known to sport a bow or two.

It's interesting as a Mom and Woman to watch your girls go through finding their groove.  I would rest easy at night if I knew Alex was always going to walk through life living true to the ending of her robot book.  However, I'm a realist.  I know how strong friends, media, life can influence.  Sometimes in a good way, hopefully in a good way.  I'm just taking small pleasure in the fact that right now, at this moment in time, she loves who she is, and can't understand being anything else.  So innocent and simple.  Little does she know its not so simple.  Oh well...let's just enjoy the moment.  I love my Robots. 

The Socially Conscious Child

I'm watching my three little blued eyed sweethearts at the breakfast table the other day listening to their Daddy explain why a free market is so great.  Alex gave up after she couldn't figure out why it was bad for the price of apples (in Rick's example) couldn't be determined by the government. Good ole Gabby was hanging on to every word trying to really figure it all out.  The little one was just wondering why there was all this apple talk and no actual apples at breakfast.  Our house is always filled with conversation and messages about what is happening in the world.  Makes me wonder if every child is growing up being so "aware".

I can still remember sitting at Starbucks having breakfast before getting ready to take our first trip to Disneyland with our then two kids.  We were trying to get Alex to pick her theme for her birthday party.  Here we were surrounded by princesses, pink galore, Disney extravaganza.  What does my little darling pick as her theme?  Save the World.  I can still remember looking at her, jaw dropped, quickly followed with a, " say what?".  She had heard us talk so much about how important it was to save the world with recycling, planting, etc.  So being in the happiest place on Earth wasn't going to change the fact she thought saving the World sounded like a pretty darn good theme.  And let me tell you that still stands out in my mind as one of our better parties. Plus just the fact she came up with it meant during one of my many rantings about recycling or turning off the precious water, she was actually listening.

Then take my Gabby who two weeks ago ran across some paper puzzles that once put together spelled out a great message about recycling. Well that gal gathered up all 10 of those extra puzzles, handed them out to her classmates sitting around before school, asked them all to put them together, and then asked her teacher if she could hang them up around school.  How proud I was to see one hanging up on the front office door.

Obviously I am a pretty passionate soul.  It doesn't take much to get me excited about a story, a great cause, you name it.  Seeing my little people jump up and take action fills my heart with such joy. Sure you can sit down and read about people doing great things or you can take action.  I hope that's the road my girls take.  I hope they care about what is going on in their world. That they pick up a paper and give two hoots about people on the other side of the world that are struggling.   I hope if they can give a dime or a dollar, they will and will appreciate how lucky they are to be able to do that.  But most of all, I just hope they are aware.  The people that live in their own magic bubble of happiness.  Well...more power to them.  I prefer to live being happy but firmly aware and socially conscious.

Mother's Day Week

This was a tough one since I had a completely different post in mind for this week, but switched mid-way since it is Mother's Day week (as I was told).  On Monday I came home to little girls running up and down the hall, whispered conversations and numerous pinkie promises that I would no go into the kitchen. The girls had created a face on a place made out of salami - too cute.  A Happy Mother's Day sign on the floor made with muffins liners and a few other hand-made specialties.  They announced it was Mother's Day week and I have felt spoiled every day.  So I've been thinking all this week about what a great gig this Motherhood this and also how honored I feel to know so many fabulous Mothers.

As I'm sure I've said before, if I could take a snapshot of myself as a Mother with each of my three kids I could honestly say that I have definitely changed.  Some is just out of sheer necessity.  But most has come from making a hell of a lot of mistakes, watching other Moms, and (although sometimes I hate to admit it) doing what my Mom did.  I did not have a bad childhood by any standards, but there are definitely some things I wish had been different. Don't we all. I can remember thinking 'boy I really love how my Mom does that' and then on the contrary, 'when I have kids I'm never...'.  But when you have kids it's hard not to fall back on what you know, how you were raised.  I honestly think you aren't the Mother you really want to be until the second or third kid.  By then you can slow down and stop and think about what you are doing and saying.  You can add in your own style and beliefs and remove those things you always said you wouldn't do.  Maybe it's just part of getting older and coming into your own.  Who knows.  I just know I like the Mom I am now and a little part of me questions whether or not Gabby and I would be closer if I had started out this way.  Live and learn huh?

I had to laugh yesterday as I sat at one of these Mommy and Me events taking in all the busy Mommy's.  You could spot the newbies and the veterans.  Jess was sitting next to a little girl and when the song called for everyone to shake hands my sweet angel held out her hand and got snubbed by a girl with a nasty little face. And yes I felt like leaning over and telling her that she should watch out or her face may stay that way (yep that's a throw back to my Mom) :)  But I refrained.  Anyways...The Mom's just sat idly by missing a full on teachable moment. Reminded me of how many great things I have learned from Mom's about how I don't want to Mother.  


As I navigate through the day I am so grateful for all the people that have influenced and modeled for me behaviors.  Some good, some bad.  All those people have helped me define the person that I want to be and therefore the Mother that I want to be.  It's really a constantly changing role.  One that needs altering for each child, each situation. So I draw on the past and my childhood. I pull from people in my life. My Mom, who in my mind does it all, with style I might add, inspires me everyday.  My various girlfriends who balance work, volunteering, Motherhood, and leaping tall buildings in a single bound.  My husband who knows how to bring fun to any situation, a love of life that inspires everyone, and who has been known to throw on the Mom's hat and wear it just fine.  And to all those friends that are just so darn loving and wonderful that they make me want to be a better person and to pass that on to my children.  So even though I didn't eat my salami face to celebrate Mother's Day week, I definitely feel loved and I celebrate being a Mom and thank those that made me the Mom I am.

Spring is a time for bloomin

When I came to pick up Jess the other day from her daycare I was greeted/bombarded at the door by all the three year olds each chattering away telling a different story.  It was funny to see them all vying for attention and how I could listen to them and actually understand what they were saying.  I made a comment to their sitter that it definitely was obvious who was getting ready to turn three and start preschool.  It's like when you're mid way into springtime before you realize you haven't had to throw on a sweater in months.  Almost without awareness, your little people blossom right before your eyes. Sure it's happening a little everyday, but one day the whip of their wings trying to flap almost knocks you down.

I remember it clearly when it happened with Alex.  We were on a trip to Napa with my parents and Grandpa Bruce was getting ready to unplug the DVD player we had brought along.  Alex who was muttering, at best, those days walked right up to him and said 'Bruce what are you doing!'  We all stood there, mouths open wide, astonished that a complete sentence had actually left her mouth.  It was almost as if Alex had been waiting to walk until she could form a coherent thought.  Our little overachiever.  

Gabby always loved to talk. Heck still does.  I have the cutest picture of Rick leaning down close to her face and the two of them chatting away. She was all of two months.  She was a great babbler.  Even today I have to remind her to take a breath in between babbles.  

So all these wonderful memories flooded my mind as I watched my littlest one and her buddies talk, laugh, and actually understand what the other was saying. There is something so wonderful about kids finally being able to communicate.  But again, just another sign that we are moving into another stage.  Preschool is just around the corner. The constant "I can do it myself" comments will ring throughout the house.  We already want to pick out our own clothes.  Oh my.  Yes it's going to be an exciting summer.