Seriously...you make the call

I've been making note of this strange phenomenon for the past year or so, but it took finally sitting down with a good straight shootin friend of mine this week to finally put the words on what is actually going on.  Stay home Mom's almost have too much time to think about stuff and therefore can't make a decision to save their lives.  Wow I know that's a harsh statement. I feel like I can say that though because I also stay home.  I feel like my decision making skills have definitely fallen to the wayside.  Now ask me if I think buying two boxes of cereal for the price of one is a good decision and I will jump all over that answer.  But ask me something that requires some thought and actual problem solving and whoa nelly you can almost hear those rusty wheels a cranking.

I have had a lot of fun working on different committees and groups at school this year, but almost everything that I have delegated out I have received a call about.  "Can we talk about this, so I can get more information?"  "Could you explain more what you are looking for?"  What I really want to tell these gals is that I'm looking for is someone just to do what I asked and not want to talk about it.  Make a decision.  Put down your latte and remember what it was like before the little people were calling all the shots.  I too feel like I get bossed around half the day.  Heck we have jokingly started calling the littlest one "The Boss".  And I say jokingly with a grimace.  We are running around picking up this, volunteering here, fluttering there and we have forgotten what it is like to just take care of business.  

I look at one of my best friends who is a full (to the fullest) time worker, Mom of two, Girl Scout leader, etc,etc.  You are getting an idea of her awesomeness.  You ask her about something and she just takes care of it.  She 
doesn't need a lot of clarification or hand holding. She is business.  I love that.

So does this affect all Mommy's that stay home?  If you stay home part of the time are you only partially rendered inept at quick thinking?  I don't know maybe if I worked full time I could answer these questions.  Hee hee.  Oh well I guess when you get down to it Mom's are usually quick at making decision when their kids are involved.  Truthfully that's the most important thing anyway, I guess I can cut them a little slack on the other stuff. 

Hearts of Gold

I leaned down to pick up the 100th piece of paper off the ground in one of my kids rooms, grumbling all the while, and it was in my hands to crumble up when I turned it over and realized it was a picture of a big heart and it had my name on it.  Then I walked out in the hall and I looked at our bedroom door and I saw a sign that Gabby had made that was a beautiful flower with two sides that I could turn one way to let people know I was sleeping and the other way when I woke up. As I walked down the hall to the kitchen passing all these little pieces of paper I noticed my grumbling voice started to subside just a little and a small smile started to take form.  Sure we kill half a rainforest a day, but my kids are spreading the love.  The first thing they think about doing for someone is drawing a picture or giving them a note.  Is that really so bad?  


With the first child I kept every single scrap of anything she laid a crayon on.  I believed everything to be a work of art. A true van Gogh.   Well, ok, that last part hasn't changed. But throw in a few more kids and I have just had to be more select.  It's tough though.  You have all the pictures they draw where there is their rendition of the entire family.  Or the picture of the heart and your name is in center. Come on now. What are you heartless?  How do you take that one to the recycle bin?  When they are driving you crazy, sometimes it's the simple glance to the magnetic board seeing that picture they poured their heart into with a smiley at the bottom, that pulls you from the edge.


Last night we were having a long evening.  Blame it on spring, first week back from spring break, who knows.  The two oldest were not being nice to the baby, the oldest one lied to her Dad, etc, etc.  Needless to say,  I was happy when I heard snores coming from all rooms.  A new day came and in amongst the hustle and bustle of the morning I saw a white heart taped to our glass doors in our room that simply said, "sorry Dad."  Gabby had either gotten up sometime in the night or early in the morning and tip toed in to place it so Rick would see it.  Yes, the lying is horrible but the core of that kid is pure gold.  


I guess all these little pieces of paper help remind me that even when they are acting up or not being nice to each other, these are three of the most loving kids I have run across.  So when I find these pieces of paper, sure I throw away some.  I have to, my house is only so big.  But I have to really stop and think about it because I know a little piece of them went into that creation.  A little piece of their heart.  Something I am so grateful for.

One Like Daddy

My girls are just now getting to the age where there is lots of emphasis on who they like and who they will marry, etc.  Trust me I am quick to chime in that college graduation, getting a nice job, then getting married would be my preferred order of events.  But it's actually pretty cute to listen to them talk about boys. Their criteria for if they like a boy is still based on whether they are funny or goofy.  However, if you think about it isn't that the way it should always be.  I keep telling the girls they really should be just looking for someone like their Dad.  But am I just setting them up to spend their adult life looking for the unattainable.  

The big girls and I were sitting waiting for their swim lessons to start the other day and for some reason Gabby wanted to make a list of all the things her Dad and I do.  I told her I needed a half sheet, but that she probably didn't have enough paper to cover her Dad's accomplishments and hobbies.  I mean fine, he's won teacher of the year twice and is a rock star coach, but that barely starts to peel away the onion if you will.  Brewer, photographer, surfer, surf board builder, woodworker, home builder, green gardener, graduate student, perpetual learner...Uh I've gotta stop and take a rest.  See what I mean?  We are talking about an interesting creature here.  This is not your average come home from work, sit on the sofa, drink a beer and grunt at the kids kind of Dad.  You ask him a question and he helps you research it (but he's so darn smart, he probably already knows the answer).  You have an idea for something you want to make, he grabs his tools. He's action Dad.  

I can almost hear my poor girls now, "I really think this guys is cute but...".  I know I couldn't have married someone that does nothing but sit around.  My Dad is a builder, a reader, surfer...hummm I'm seeing a pattern.  I guess I did look for a lot of the same traits.  My only concern is my girls trying to find someone with all the traits or skills their Dad has.  He just has so many.  When I stop to think about him I truly become in ah of him.  Someone at work called him a modern day savant and jokingly asked me if I ever feel like Jan Brady.  If I didn't love him so much I would be screaming "Marsha Marsha Marsha!".

So what advice will I give my poor girls when they get older?  Your Dad is an original?  They aren't all like him?  Or should I encourage them to search for someone just as interesting as him?  I guess some combination of the above.  I would like to believe that his being with me and my family has helped expose him to some of the things he is interested in today.  Who knows if that's true.  I just know my girls have a great role model.  And I pity the poor fella who comes home to dinner and gets asked the dreaded, "so tell me about yourself" by ole RR.

Not cut from the same cloth

So in amongst all the celebrating of my middlest angel I couldn't help but stop and think about how truly different all three of my girls really are.  I mean you raise them the same. Read them the same books. Teach them from your same novel of parenting.  But darn if those little buggers aren't so darn different and special.  

Case in point...I couldn't help but think about one of my favorite Alex stories the other day.  Alex had to be 5 and Gabby 6.  We had come home only to find that one of their fish had departed to the big fish bowl in the sky.  Rick wasn't home, so I gathered my thoughts and decided I would go with the shortened circle of life story.  I pulled them both up onto Gabby's bed close to me, told them about how this sort of think happened, the fish had a nice life with us, etc. Heck I was crying myself.  I look out at the audience and we have Gabby, eyes full of tears and sorrow.  Her face is expressing true mourning for the fish.  I half expected her to break into one of her spontaneously written songs, with musical accompaniment of course.  Then I look over at Alex.  Or should I say Dr. Alex.  Her eyes are dry.  At least she isn't smiling and she does let me finish before asking the only question that was on her mind, "when can we flush the other fish?".  Uh...yep mourning time over.

And then we have the more recent story of me getting breakfast ready and telling Rick about some new songs we had downloaded, but how first I wanted to share a video I had seen at the gym about quadriplegic soccer players.  So I'm telling all about this story that I found so interesting and inspiring and everyone is nodding and seems interested.  I'm almost done and then my little sweet Alex looks at me and says, "But what about Usher?".  She was referring to wanting to hear the new Usher song we had downloaded the night before that I had mentioned playing.  God love my sweetheart, she definitely knows how to stop a conversation.  Luckily she also has a great sense of humor since 'what about Usher' has become our new favorite joke when someone abruptly ends a conversation or just says something weird. 

Now so we don't think she has some sort of aspergers or social disorder, there are a million other examples I could think of when she has let that big heart of hers shine.  But even as an infant she has definitely made you earn that heart.  She isn't like Gabby or even Jess for that matter.  Her first inclination is not to run up and give you a hug, but I can tell you that over the years I think we have broken her down.   She is always the first one to give me a big hug in the morning now.


So I keep on reading from my same books and giving my same speeches on rights and wrongs, but when I do my tuck ins at night I'm still kissing my dramatic nature lover, my overly intelligent sensitive soul, and my energetic stubborn wild child.  But that's what makes this ride so fun.  They get along, but are oh so different.  Definitely never boring.