Mini Me Hits 7!

This week it's a fun one to write.  My middle baby is getting ready to turn seven on Sunday.  I can hardly believe seven years have passed.  This has truly been a fun year for her and as a Mom, a fun one to watch.  My parents and I both have made the comment, "boy this is Alex's year."  That truly does sum it up. Let me see if I can describe it adequately.

She started the school year as a first grader. So we were no longer the new kid on the block which automatically increased her confidence level.  Our school, in my mind, does it right. They combine the K/1 and 2/3 grades so the 1st and 3rd graders really get a chance to know their teachers and stand out as leaders in class.  Well that is exactly what Alex has done this year.  She is no longer waiting to be called on, she is asking questions, helping out without being asked, being a leader, a great friend, you name it.  And that's just what her teachers are saying.  I won't even go into how great she is going reading wise and just generally in school. I mean anyone that can pick up one of Rick's dry economics books and read a few chapters impresses the socks off of me.  Truly what she can read and retain is amazing for her age.  I would like to say it's all the time I spent working with her.  But I just think it's that big ole brain doing it's work.  Thank goodness she took after Rick, also an early reader and general brainiac.

My girl also kicked off the year by loosing a bunch of teeth. For little kids, this is one of the biggest thrills in life. They are just dying to get their name on the tooth chart at school and to have that tooth fairy pay a visit.  Heck Alex kept a tooth dangling by a string until she got to school.  Her teacher told me that Alex's hand popped up at almost exactly 8:10 one morning to announce her tooth was out.  She was saving that one.  So for most of the beginning of the year she has looked like our personal jack-o-lattern. Too darn cute.  She has loved that.

Anyone remember my shy little Alex?  I barely do.  She has definitely come out of that shell and stomped on the pieces.  I can still remember my Dad's concern over how shy she was.  Or when I would take her out in the stroller only to have her scream every time someone would dare smile at her because she was so darn cute.  Now she is outgoing, charming, LOUD, and just generally a great person to be around.  Can you tell I'm crazy about this kid. 

So I've told you about the wonderful things you see on a daily basis but what I hold true to my heart is what not everyone gets to see...like when she gets up really early in the morning before everyone else and comes to sit up on the counter to tell me a story about the day she forgot about.  Or when she can tell that I have had enough and she will clean up Jess' room better than I would myself just to put a smile on my face.  How about Gabby's first year in kinder which was absolutely nightmarishly crazy and Alex would run into the girls bathroom to grab me some toilet paper to wipes my eyes and then look up at me with those great big blues and say, "Mom you look like you could use a mocha from the favorite coffee shop."

I'm extra sensitive with my little Alex.  She is the dreaded middle child, the one that gets forgotten.  Well, not on my watch.  She is my little blue eyed sunshine.  I get such a smile on my face when I hear those little footsteps coming down the hall in the morning.  So for my angel I wish that this year be the beginning of how all her years will go.  I hope she will continue to blossom and find her voice.  To know how crazy proud we are of her and how much we love her. 

Happy birthday my sweet Alexandra Rose.

The Hand Off

As I spend more time hanging around Mom's, kids and the like, I have come to notice that parents love to give you their kids.  The days I am home I seriously spend more time responding to requests for play dates, weekend gatherings, and the like.  Moms are more than happy if you want to take their kids for 2-4 hours, heck keep them overnight and you have a friend for life.  Then I also have friends that take trips sans the kids, at least a few times a year. A trip without the kids makes me feel, the entire time, like I've walked out of the house without my pants on. Rick and I always have fun, but the missing is definitely strong.  I was trying to explain all this to my kids today as they wondered why they couldn't go on the hundredth play date they had been invited on.  Part of me just wanted to say 'heck kids I just really like you guys, I don't know what's wrong with those other parents'.  But yes, I refrained. 

Yesterday my girls had their friends, who happen to be sisters, over for a playdate.  I couldn't help but smile just listening to the conversation, the laughing, just the sound of girls being girls.  I have always wanted my house to be the one that the kids go to after school. The hang out spot.  Part of me feels that if I can create that environment now it will carry through to when they are older and when I'll want to feel even a little bit connected to whats going on in their lives.  It's funny sometimes how I'll ask the girls about their days and how I hear nothing of importance.  But, when I'm in the kitchen baking cookies and they think I'm not listening I hear all about the ins and outs of the day.  Sometimes just the act of us working on those cookies together, helps to drop the  guard down and out comes the sharing.  I love that.  So selfishly I'm not always looking to ship my kids off because I feel like I'm missing out on all that goodness.

I was talking with another Mom at Jess' gym class today and she was talking about her two kids and how exhausted she was and how she looked forward to when her little one got into school.  I laughed a little because I thought I guess I should feel that way, but I feel exactly the opposite.  I love when they come home from school.  I am dreading having Jess start preschool.  I will count down the hours until I can come pick her up.  Then the two of us will count down until we can pick up her sisters.  The walls of this house are meant to be filled with happy little voices. 

So do I lock my princesses up in my tower and keep all their joy just to myself?  No, of course not.  Part of growing up is going to peoples house, doing play dates, and spending time away from the watchful eye of Mom and Dad.  But will I go out of my way to find places to ship them off to?  No way.  Will I hope they choose our house as the place to hang out?  You bet.  Because a house without that sweet laughter is really just a house. 

Questioning the Role Model

I mentioned last week how great it was to work at a school since there are teachers and counselors always on the look out to offer up guidance.  Well that can sometimes play against you as well.  A little background...this summer when Jess turned two I decided that I needed to get a new best friend and lose my old best friend "the muffin top."  I ran, took exercises classes, watched what I ate and low and behold it came off.  I am basically the weight I was prior to having kids. My fighting weight if you will.  Well...since many folks at work have only either known me pregnant or in various stages of fighting to lose my muffin top, this came as a shock when I returned back over summer. The rumors started to fly about me being ill, suffering from a eating disorder, etc, etc.  Now I know the people here love me so I have taken such comments as loving comments. 

Last week though...I was cornered (easy to do in my little office) by a co-worker also expressing concern and she brought up something that has been weighing on my mind.  She mentioned that me being so small is really not setting a good example for my girls.  That they are looking for me to set the body image norm and by being thin I am basically giving them the message that this is the size they should be.  Now it's one thing to have concern for me.  Again, I can appreciate that.  But as soon as you start throwing around my parent and putting that into question, that becomes an area I'm fairly sensitive about.  I pride myself about going out of my way to tell my girls how important it is to love themselves and to not be obsessed with external beauty.  We talk about how beautiful differences are.  How people of all shapes and sizes, colors and races are all wonderful.  So when this woman said this to me, I really got bothered and obviously a week later I'm still bothered. 

I can still remember as a kid my Dad pointing out that I was getting a chest.  And my family was always the first to point out a hair style they didn't care for or if I could stand to lose a few.   I can still remember how sad I felt to have those things brought to my attention.  I remember those feelings and I would never want my girls to feel like that. I think because of that I have tried to make sure they feel great. I support the style they want, the hair they want, and have always reminded them how important it is to shine on the inside.   Plus couldn't I argue that by exercising and eating right I am actually setting a good example for them. Well at least better than the Mom cramming a Big Whopper in her mouth calling that a delicious dinner. 

So... did I say anything to this concerned colleague?  Did I look her in the face and tell her that I think I am going an OK job, thank you very much.  Did I stand up with my hands on my hips and say that despite my personal faults, I go out of my way to be the best darn parent I can and to make those girls feel that they are loved and fabulously wonderful little people?  Nope.  I listened to her express her concern.  I told her there was no issue and thanked her for her concern and thought to myself, 'you don't know me, but thank you for my next weeks blog topic'. 

Even the Fairies are in Question

So the morning starts like any other crazy Thursday...I am dropping the kids at school before I make the drive to work.  I usually drop Gabby and then take Alex to her classroom and then swing back by on my way out to give Gabby one more hug.  Unfortunately on my last pass Gabby not only comes in for a hug but decides to hit me up and ask me the tough questions. The ones every parent dreads.  "Do Leprechauns exists?  "And what about Santa"  "What about Fairies"  The questions were literally flying out of her like popcorn from a hot air machine.  I'm standing looking down at my big blued eight year old thinking 'wow I really don't want to be having this conversation right now'.  I realize that she is eight and in second grade and I'm on borrowed time as far as the whole believing thing goes.  But for me, when kids stop believing in fairies and magic the fun of it all just vanishes. 

I remember last year Gabby and Alex worked on making this elaborate Leprechaun trap.  Gabby had the trap leading from her room down the hall all the way into the living room.  The trap was well thought out and you could just see the excitement in their faces as they were putting it all together.  I loved it!  I jumped right on board and made a little green shirt and little pair of green pants and stuffed them into their trap.  I still remember Gabby squealing with delight when she thought that the Leprechaun had lost his clothes fighting to get out of her trap.  Priceless stuff.  And of course, what is one of the first things she asked me that fateful drop off morning?  "Momma you didn't make those little green clothes did you?"  Uh....Uh....crickets were heard chirping throughout San Jose. 

So luckily my ADD daughter is easily distracted and I made a speedy get away before I had to tell any outright lies or shatter any dream before my first cup of coffee.  But all the way to work I was so sad.  Sad that my little girl was growing up. Sad that some kids at school are so hell bent on making sure other kids don't believe.  Sad that the only way to keep the magic is to either come up with some fabulously elaborate story aka lie or come clean that I am the worlds best Leprechaun seamstress.  (Seriously they were a cute pair of pants)  Darn I was just sad.

This is just one of the reasons I am so grateful to work at a school.  Counselors/life coaches/mentors/parents galore.  I must have brought up this story to everyone.  The Mom's and even the Dad's gave me the gentle nod and understanding eyes and just heard me out.  Everyone can appreciate the approach of the impending lost innocence and the Mothers fight to keep it alive.  There is a Lifetime movie storyline in there someplace I'm sure.  Two people I really like had basically the same line they gave their kids and it was, 'if you don't believe then you might not get anything and nothing may happen.'  I kind of like that.  But to me it's more than that.  I really do want them to believe.  Not so much in the little green man or the fella climbing down your chimney, but in the magic of it all.  Heck I still believe in a little magic. 

So I came home and luckily Gabby had basically forgotten about it.  But I decided to bring it up and I brought up believing in magic and how sometimes people help make magic happen.  She said 'yah I think Ms. Thomas moves the gingerbread people around herself and that they don't actually run around at night.'  I told her that was a great example of someone getting really excited about a holiday and wanting to make it magical and fun for other people.  I think she got it.  Alex looked a little worried that the gingerbread people and their shenanigans were being questioned, but she'll survive. 

My good friend made a surprise visit from the Leprechaun just the other day and the girls were so excited.  There was no questioning, no doubt.  It's almost as it they decided it was ok to just have fun and believe.  That's really the joy of being a kid right?  At least that's the fun part of being a Mom and getting to watch your kids.  And the fun thing is getting to watch the holidays and events through their eyes, you get a little bit of that magic back that you lose over the years.  Helps you believe again.